Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I Didn't Even Get to Rinse and Spit

Well, going to the dentist is one of those experiences in life nobody particularly likes, but a necessity nonetheless. I went through a patch in the mid-1990s where I was moving so much I went a couple of years without visiting the dentist. My mouth was such a mess by the time I got into the dentist's office that I've tried to stay on top of it ever since.

Since it's been six months since my last checkup, I decided I needed to get my teeth cleaned. Now normally, this would not present an issue. You move to a new city, you find a new dentist. Except I haven't found a permanent residence yet. Finding a dentist where I'm living now would create tangible evidence that I am 40, divorced, and living with my mother, so I didn't want to go to their dentist (who was my dentist for a period of time too).

Then it struck me: I work at a major research university! Why not go to the dental school? That way they can fix me up and send me on the way, and some kid gets to practice on me. It seemed like a good idea at the time...

I had a 2 hour "diagnostic" appointment today with two dental students and two faculty dentists. (Again, I have no dental problems, just wanted a cleaning!) The students were very young and sincere. The result of that appointment was that I need to make a follow up appointment with a more senior dental student in a few weeks. The faculty member I talked to sort of muttered "all you need is a good cleaning" and "this is the way the students learn." So I asked, "so I'll get my teeth cleaned at my next appointment?" The answer: no, that will happen at the THIRD appointment. THIRD APPOINTMENT? I've never wanted to see a dental hygenist with that sharp metal tool and cavitron thing that blasts water in my mouth so much in my life.

Well, the head and neck diagnostic exam was an interesting bonus and my blood pressure is pretty normal, so I've got that going for me.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Darn, I Missed It

Today, apparently, is National High Five Day. I am not a huge high-five fan, although I am infinitely more comfortable with the high-five than the fist bump. Barack Obama can do the fist bump and look cool -- oh hell, he always looks cool -- I just can't pull it off. I would have loved the opportunity to high-five someone today, but no high-fiveable moments presented themselves. Plus, I'm just not sure about the rules about high-fiving in the workplace -- I'm sure it's discouraged; it would require physical contact with a co-worker and hell, that might lead to dancing. I am a fan of the sarcastic high-five, as in, "Well, another woman has given me the thumbs-down, and this was a spectacular crash-n-burn. High-five?" One time recently I put 75 cents into the vending machine and the thing malfunctioned and gave me 5 rolls of peppermint lifesavers. That would have been a great high-five moment, but then I felt guilty and wondered if it was unethical to take all those lifesavers. When I looked at the machine, there was no price on the items in that row, so maybe they were going for $0.15 each.

I hope you got a high-five in today, ironic or otherwise.