Dropping Turkeys and Tuning Out

One of my favorite TV shows as a kid was WKRP in Cincinnati (1978-1982). Who wouldn’t love a show about a fledgling middle-American radio station filled with a bunch of whacky characters? There was Herb, the incompetent ad salesman, bumbling newsman Les Nessman, and Mr. Carlson, the milktoast station owner. Most importantly WKRP brought the legendary Loni Anderson into our living-rooms each week. The voice of sanity at the station was Andy Travis, the program manager who changed WKRP to a rock format, and tried his best to turn this dysfunctional little station around. In one of the most memorable episodes from March 1979 entitled “Commercial Break,” Herb sells time on the station to a funeral home. The ads include a catchy little jingle selling funeral plots for “Ferryman’s Funerals” … on a rock and roll station. Needless to say hilarity ensued, until someone figured out that their target audience doesn’t want to hear funeral home commercials.

Every morning I listen to one of our local sports radio stations here in Atlanta, 680 WCNN. The show is fun because the host, Christopher Rude, a former fixture on FM drive time in Atlanta is such a pro. He broadens the topics discussed beyond sports, but it remains a male-oriented show. Despite the fact that I enjoy the show, every morning I am compelled, at some point, to turn the dial. WCNN, you see, has its own version of “Ferryman’s Funerals.” Every morning at some point the droning voice of attorney Joe Cordell of Cordell & Cordell comes on the radio. “Are you a man considering divorce?” he asks in a monotone. “If you are a man considering divorce, you should do everything you can to reconcile ….” (Even Ben Stein would tell this guy to pick it up a bit.) I am one of those people who hit the snooze button a dozen times in the morning. As I slowly wake up I am vaguely aware of that awful voice saying, “children in intact families do better in school” or “you are a man who’s worked hard all your life” … Cordell & Cordell is one of these megafirms that is pitching itself as the defender of men and father’s rights. Unlike selling funeral plots to young adults at WKRP, the guys at this law firm are actually reaching their target audience: adult men. Being a divorced man, I would just assume not start my day with the irritating little voice asking me to think about divorce. I say “buzz kill!” and I turn the dial. I wonder if the station knows how many people they’re bumming out. I’d much rather be awoken in the morning by Loni Anderson’s voice.

If WCNN really wants to emulate WKRP, they should recreate the most famous promotion in that station’s storied, fictional history: when they (accidentally) dropped live turkeys out of a helicopter as a Thanksgiving stunt. Les Nessman’s description of the event (a parody of the famous Hindenburg landing broadcast) was truly classic TV.