Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I Am a Fashion Vegetarian

Yesterday I heard about a disturbing website called Hats of Meat. Apparently, some guys got together and decided they would make a website about people wearing meat as a hat. People shouldn't wear food. Hats of meat are impractical. And it's dangerous. The PETA people are already going around throwing buckets of paint on people who wear fur. Imagine what they would do if they saw someone approaching them wearing a selection of sliced meats on their head. Furthermore, I take public transportation. I don't want to sit next to someone who's wearing a hat of meat. What's this going to do to the Easter Parade on New York's 5th avenue? Can you imagine ladies in their finery being chased down the street by dogs? This is a terrible idea. Meat is expensive, it attracts insects and would not stand up to the elements. Can you imagine the scene at airport security as people are told to take off their meat hats? Hats of meat in little plastic bins with shoes being x-rayed? This cannot be a good thing. It's all sort of disappointing too. As someone slightly deficient in the hair department, I have longed for the days when men would wear hats again, but hats of meat were not the direction in which I wanted to go at all. I don't even want to go into the theological implications of sharing public spaces with muslims or hindus not keen on the use of pork or beef , respectively, as headwear. Let's just hope this new fashion trend doesn't take off. We couldn't get the young people to pull their pants up. Imagine how much trouble we'll have trying to take their meat hats away from them.

1 comment:

Sarah J. said...

What bothers me is the number of knockoffs that are going to come out after this: spamhats, bocahats, smartdoghats. Let's just hope there are no salmonhats or catfishhats. These designers need to spend less time thinking of edible garb and concentrate on more important matters, like thinking about stuff to put cupholders in.