What a Way to Go

Every time I fly, I hear the flight crew tell me that tampering with or disabling the restroom smoke detectors is a federal crime. I've never been a smoker, so I don't understand the overwhelming urge to start tearing apart the tiny airplane lavatory just to get a few drags on a cigarette. In fact, I like to spend as little time as possible in that awful little closet. And I'm a little unclear on exactly what happens when I flush the toilet in the airplane. It makes a godawful slurping sound that makes me think the waste goes right from the plane to the bowels of hell. I always make it a point to hold onto any loose objects when I'm flushing -- that thing sounds like it could suck down a small child. Generally, I dislike using airplane lavatories and try to avoid them at all costs. I like to take the window seat on airplanes and as a result, I hate getting up during a flight. Getting some people to get out of their airplane seat is quite an operation sometimes: remove hearphones ... close laptop ... put up seatback table ... clear lap ... unbuckle seat belt ... stand up in aisle ... etc. I'd rather just hold it.

But why all the talk about airplane lavatories? This morning on a flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta, a sixty-one year old woman was found dead in the airplane's lavatory as the plane prepared to land. This is a very sad story and I am in no way making the light of this woman's death. (The preliminary indications are that she died of natural causes.) This is just one of those stories that makes you pause. I wonder what this woman was going through when she headed for the restroom. Was she feeling ill? Or did it all just come as a suprise? Sixty-one is young in this day and age. This was just another reminder for me that when your number is up, it's up. You never know when your ticket is going to be punched, or whether you'll be able to return to your seat with your seatbelt securely fastened and your seatback in the full, upright position. Rest in peace, Delta passenger.