Let's Raise a Parting Glass

I was sorry to hear about the death of The Golden Girls' Estelle Getty. My ex-wife was a big fan of Golden Girls -- a character flaw that should have been a red flag for me -- so I sat through a few episodes when they were in reruns. Getty was a bright light in an otherwise painful sitcom experience. I remember thinking "Come on, Betty White. You're better than this!" And Bea Arthur? One word: freakish. Anyway, I was shocked to learn during bar trivia a few months back that The Golden Girls is one of the only sitcoms that had all of its stars nominated for Emmy awards. Frankly, I was surprised that they even one nomination. I'm chalking this all up to a problem with demographics (but I never understood The O.C. either). I don't think they were aiming the show at the 18-35 crowd. In a "seeing the man behind the curtain moment," a number of years ago, I was on the backlot tour at Disney Studios in Orlando, and they pointed out the house they used for the exterior shots in The Golden Girls. Realizing that the house on this fake Disney street was just a facade, I thought for a fleeting moment: "Where are those crazy old bats, Dorothy, Blanche, Sophia and Rose living then?" In retrospect, it's probably best they're fictional. Can you imagine living next to that lunatic asylum filled with promiscuous senior citizens? So, I salute Estelle Getty who brought a grandmother to the screen whose acid tongue was only surpassed by my own grandmother, Ella. Maybe they're up in heaven now making wisecracks.

PHOTO COURTESY OF CALLAHAN FAMILY VACATION ON PBASE

I Am a Fashion Vegetarian

Yesterday I heard about a disturbing website called Hats of Meat. Apparently, some guys got together and decided they would make a website about people wearing meat as a hat. People shouldn't wear food. Hats of meat are impractical. And it's dangerous. The PETA people are already going around throwing buckets of paint on people who wear fur. Imagine what they would do if they saw someone approaching them wearing a selection of sliced meats on their head. Furthermore, I take public transportation. I don't want to sit next to someone who's wearing a hat of meat. What's this going to do to the Easter Parade on New York's 5th avenue? Can you imagine ladies in their finery being chased down the street by dogs? This is a terrible idea. Meat is expensive, it attracts insects and would not stand up to the elements. Can you imagine the scene at airport security as people are told to take off their meat hats? Hats of meat in little plastic bins with shoes being x-rayed? This cannot be a good thing. It's all sort of disappointing too. As someone slightly deficient in the hair department, I have longed for the days when men would wear hats again, but hats of meat were not the direction in which I wanted to go at all. I don't even want to go into the theological implications of sharing public spaces with muslims or hindus not keen on the use of pork or beef , respectively, as headwear. Let's just hope this new fashion trend doesn't take off. We couldn't get the young people to pull their pants up. Imagine how much trouble we'll have trying to take their meat hats away from them.

Returning to Skytop, 36 Years Later

I remember doing a family history project in junior year of high school. One of our assignments was to list our family traditions. I found this rather difficult, actually. As I ran through the things we always did at holiday time, for example, I was hard pressed to come up with any traditions -- or at least any that I was anxious to share. I would not share (as a shy sixteen-year-old) Mom and Dad's sipping on champagne (with peaches) as we opened up presents on Christmas morning, for example. One tradition we do have, however, is story telling. One group of stories that seemed to come up regularly involved our family vacations to the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania in the early 1970s. Appropriatelty then, to celebrate Mom and Dad's 50th wedding anniversary, we returned to Skytop Lodge. We spent a wonderful week as a family playing golf, tennis, swimming and enjoying sumptuous meals as a family. It's an effort for me to ever be sincere, but I feel really lucky to be a part of this family. People seem to generally like hanging out with one another. My sixteen year old niece announced after she got home that this was the best vacation she'd ever had. Can't say that I can argue with her.