Can I Interest You in a Chilean Stonefruit?

There was an interesting article in The New York Times the other day, about Whole Foods, the upscale organic supermarket chain. Apparently, Whole Foods is trying to redefine its image a bit during this economic recession suggesting that some of the things that they sell may actually be as cheap as a regular grocery store. Now the idea that Whole Foods would be trying to suggest that anything they sell if affordable is hilarious. They're not known as "Whole Paycheck" or "Whole Wallet" for nothing. This is sort of the equivalent of finding bargains in Saks Fifth Avenue or Tiffany's.

One of the only times I just shopped in Whole Foods for more than one or two items, I was preparing to go on a roadtrip with a girlfriend. She was ... "thrifty," shall we say? As we went through the store, I noticed she began to become increasingly upset. I realized it was because she was keeping a tally of our bill in her head. By the time we got to the cash register, I think she was on the verge of tears. Any store that can bring an adult woman to the verge of an emotional breakdown because of its prices isn't going to be known as a place for bargains anytime soon.

I think Whole Foods may actually be becoming competitive, not because they actually have bargains but because everything else is getting so expensive. I bought nectarines in the grocery store yesterday on sale. I watched them take the discount at the register and then $4.37 went on my bill. Then I thought about it. $4.37? That's more than one dollar a nectarine. I mean, are they wrapping these things in bubble wrap before they end up in the grocery store? I am old enough to remember the days when there was a produce man in the grocery store. He would stand there and weigh your produce and then mark it with a black marker. There were no surprises at the checkout counter. If bing cherries were outrageously expensive, you could go from a pound to half a pound. Now it's just an anonymous bar-code snickering at me at checkout. These days grapes and cherries aren't even sold loosely, and apples are all gigantic. What the people at my local grocery store need to understand is that if I am going to pay outrageous prices for fruit, I will go to Whole Foods. I think they have valet parking.