Can't We All Just Get Along?

One thing about living in New York is that you really don't know when full-out drama is going to erupt right in front of you. And what's really funny is that sometimes it breaks out so suddenly, you just sit back as if you're in your living room and not right there in the action. I got on the subway to go home tonight and it all seemed kind of mundane ...

So I sat down on the A train tonight and some raggedy guy brushed me with his bicycle but I ignored him. Another gentleman on the train was not so willing to let it go and then things got interesting. I will translate for non-New York readers of this blog:

Man 1: "I say sir, you failed to properly apologize when you grazed me with your bicycle." [Hey, I didn't hear 'excuse me.']
Man 2: "My dear sir, you are sadly mistaken." [I said 'excuse me' -- ain't my problem if you can't hear.]
Man 1: "I urge you to reconsider! My hearing faculties are perfectly intact." [Bullshit!]
Man 2: "You sir have offended my honor! I challenge you to a duel!" [You want a piece of this m&*$%erf'er? ... (Pulls out boxcutter.)]
Man 1: (Stands) I accept your challenge, my good man! [Let's do it f&^%er!]
Man 2: "I stand ready to engage!" [Bring it ^&%&*]
Man 3: "Please I insist that you settle this like the gentlemen that you are!" [You two better stop this. There are people right next to you.]
Man 1: "You vex me sir!" [You better stop running your mouth.]
Man 3: "Please, gentleman, your honor is at stake!" [You two are immature. You're going to go to jail!]
Man 2: (holds his saber forth) [lunatic waving box-cutter around]
Man 1: "We must settle this in a proper venue!" [Get off this f**&ing train!]
Man 2: "We shall engage!" [I'm right here m*&^erf*&er!]

At this point most of the spectators on the train had scattered. Man #1 continued to scream "get off this train!" I moved to the next car, but then realized we weren't leaving the station because Man #1 was holding the doors in the 14th street station insisting that his adversary engage on the platform. I walked across the platform to catch a local train and watched as Man #1 got off the train and Man #2 continued to taunt him as the train pulled away.

Just another ride home ... you wouldn't think 5 stops on the subway could bring that level of drama, but tonight it did.

photo from Dominick Chapman's photostream on flickr